Good piece Luke! I’ve also noticed that cell phone technology has, in some cases, decreased spontaneity. For example, I often text people to set up a time to chat on the phone, rather than just call them!
“Isolation can be fought. It must be fought, preferably to the death. You, as an individual, can make a choice to engage in your community.” I love this.
For over 10 years I’ve lived in a very small community that has escaped much of the isolationism of the USA, especially post-COVID USA. It is increasingly creepy to me visiting where I grew up—where I swear to God people used to say hello to each other and such—and see how suspicious everyone is of each other. So thank you for trying to fight that.
Obligatory add: Here from Freddie deBoer subscriber writing. I write about community, and my pro-social island community in particular, at my Substack, and would be honored if you were to check it out. Here are posts on community you might appreciate:
This celebration of isolation thing is one of those figments that exists almost entirely online, that I've never heard anyone say in the real world, and very few people actually believe.
that's because the people who do that...aren't interacting! what people do on the internet is what they do offline but just the volume turned up & the inhibitions dropped. it's like everyone is drunk & playing on the Holodeck.
One of my biggest pet peeves is not the friend or date who cancels because something comes up, which is the most human thing that can happen, but the friend or date who cancels because they are “tired” or “don’t feel like it”.
I dated a girl who at one point told me she “suffered from tiredness” and conveniently it happened to “flare up” every time I asked her to do an activity that required her to drive more than 10 minutes from her house.
Culturally we’ve just come up with an excuse for laziness and named it something that sounds nice, “self-care”.
unfortunately the people who are actually lazy & flaky ruin things for people who have legit health issues. & sometimes when you have chronic health stuff you still have to just get out of the house for the sake of your sanity. I found out i had pneumonia right after the trump election. But after a couple weeks, I still felt crappy but needed to get out because not getting out at least a little was worse! Sometimes I have coaxed friends out of their caves (or visited them in their caves) & they always felt better & were thankful.
Yes! Thank you. I have a lot of friends who are introverts & I often feel like I'm being annoying & poking everyone to try to get someone to agree to meet with me. There is a difference between healthy alone & quiet time, both for people who are more & less social by nature. There's also a difference between people with chronic illnesses that need to rest and people who overuse/misuse the term "self-care". To the point where people don't take seriously folks that legit have a reason they have to cancel.
Spot on. I'd also argue that the rift between young men and women is largely because they're spending less time with each other. I read essays from both sexes, and it's obvious how limited their exposure is to real life boys and real life girls, who rarely resemble the concocted targets they rail against online. I can't stress enough that actual humans are so much more than their categories.
Good piece Luke! I’ve also noticed that cell phone technology has, in some cases, decreased spontaneity. For example, I often text people to set up a time to chat on the phone, rather than just call them!
“Isolation can be fought. It must be fought, preferably to the death. You, as an individual, can make a choice to engage in your community.” I love this.
For over 10 years I’ve lived in a very small community that has escaped much of the isolationism of the USA, especially post-COVID USA. It is increasingly creepy to me visiting where I grew up—where I swear to God people used to say hello to each other and such—and see how suspicious everyone is of each other. So thank you for trying to fight that.
Obligatory add: Here from Freddie deBoer subscriber writing. I write about community, and my pro-social island community in particular, at my Substack, and would be honored if you were to check it out. Here are posts on community you might appreciate:
https://open.substack.com/pub/doctrixperiwinkle/p/are-you-going-my-way?r=7jlkd&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
https://open.substack.com/pub/doctrixperiwinkle/p/shave-and-a-haircut?r=7jlkd&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
Good stuff. I subscribed
This celebration of isolation thing is one of those figments that exists almost entirely online, that I've never heard anyone say in the real world, and very few people actually believe.
Absolutely false
that's because the people who do that...aren't interacting! what people do on the internet is what they do offline but just the volume turned up & the inhibitions dropped. it's like everyone is drunk & playing on the Holodeck.
One of my biggest pet peeves is not the friend or date who cancels because something comes up, which is the most human thing that can happen, but the friend or date who cancels because they are “tired” or “don’t feel like it”.
I dated a girl who at one point told me she “suffered from tiredness” and conveniently it happened to “flare up” every time I asked her to do an activity that required her to drive more than 10 minutes from her house.
Culturally we’ve just come up with an excuse for laziness and named it something that sounds nice, “self-care”.
Pretty much. But the thing that is such a bummer is this “self care” is actually bad for the people doing it too
Self care can be self abuse if ya know what I mean 😆
unfortunately the people who are actually lazy & flaky ruin things for people who have legit health issues. & sometimes when you have chronic health stuff you still have to just get out of the house for the sake of your sanity. I found out i had pneumonia right after the trump election. But after a couple weeks, I still felt crappy but needed to get out because not getting out at least a little was worse! Sometimes I have coaxed friends out of their caves (or visited them in their caves) & they always felt better & were thankful.
But the trend toward people isolating themselves is quite unhealthy. People need to to bowl together right now right now 😎
Yes! Thank you. I have a lot of friends who are introverts & I often feel like I'm being annoying & poking everyone to try to get someone to agree to meet with me. There is a difference between healthy alone & quiet time, both for people who are more & less social by nature. There's also a difference between people with chronic illnesses that need to rest and people who overuse/misuse the term "self-care". To the point where people don't take seriously folks that legit have a reason they have to cancel.
Spot on. I'd also argue that the rift between young men and women is largely because they're spending less time with each other. I read essays from both sexes, and it's obvious how limited their exposure is to real life boys and real life girls, who rarely resemble the concocted targets they rail against online. I can't stress enough that actual humans are so much more than their categories.